Been TOO busy..

22 june 09, MON

Definitely the busy-ness of life took life on a different path and time for poeple is basically CUT-OFF;

*the super not constant update is proof to this*

-1 month MC off from all sporting events n etc

-i miss silat badly.. but i cant do anything abt it till my "probation" is up.

-Gotten a new job and this one take a very bid portion

-Heading to LAOS for a school business trip.. for 1 week.

-in and out of hospitals for different reasons..

-school is really in my way although it;s the holidays and DO TAKE NOTE:

I have yet to enroll for any CCA!!!!

-family time cut off... dang! my nephew so kesian.. no time to see him..

-kompang has to be cut off on certain days thanks to TIME! LOL. i rushed thru and squeezed a lot of time for the undangan!!!...

i cant keep up uh.. im very tired and very exhausted.. SERIOUSLY!

cant cope..but im trying..

Hmm... with regards to one of the points said...
IM GOING TO THE LANDS OF MILLION ELEPHANTS!!
The all time famous landlocked country called LAOS!!
____________________________________________

I hope anyone who i didnt layan, sorry k..
One day i'll explain to ya...
And a happy 20th to my bestfriends Siti Nabila Huda and Nur'ain Laiyinah!!
love u!!
*hugs* Muackz!

Updates are here...

Working with the BIG MAN. LOL.

NOL, MOI, CIP, MAGANDA, ERIN...

Wad we do at work. LOL.

My faithful 2. Brothers mah.. LOL...

Ugly look, sipping on Root Beer!

Me and Kakak..

Happy Mother's Day IBU!

The aristocrats..

UP0904B!!!!

OK seriously, when was the last time ive uploaded pictures? Pfft.

Here's the sich, ive been to Batam and it was wad ppl call it a shopping HEAVEN!

Everything is SUPER CHEAP.

ok. Uploaded pictures are about the Mother's day Batam trip, My NEW class..UP0904B aka PB!!! and... Snapshots of me and ma adeqz... Enjoy!

Ryan Out!

Hmm..The day i didnt went to school.

Ok yesterday was a wreck, im running up and down in school,
trying to get myself fixed into the curriculum, hectic man..

1) Gotta get ma deferment done, via school's fax. I think they got thru. Coz my mum said it did.
cant call them myself cause my ppd phone cant call government line. PFFT!

2) Went up and down MLC again and again to get my ezlink re-registered, but they cant read my card as they said im a "invalid account user".. KNS! 2 days this happens and both days a failure.. Tomorrow is defintely a busy day as Wed is a full day in school. The only day we get to school 1hr 30mins late but also the only day we ended at 6pm!

-clearly i dont understand how eyla can stay lepak-ing with us in the west area day in and day out!

partly why i dun consider SM as an equal to FT coz;

of the location,
a)it's no-where near a shopping mall.. *a must have to students*

b) i have yet to fine my own clique.. * how to when im ever busy running up and down trying to get things done, family, work, school admin and silat*

c)It's hell in the train when you have to go back coz I CANT SLEEP IN TRAINS! * i so cant wait for my bike!!* KNSCCB!

d)my phone rings daily at a inconsiderate number of time without giving me a time in a day to REST. LITERALLY ringing phone calls one after another and it drags for a week now..
*motorshop, citibank, CC, mcd, HQ, Venture, dad, mum, adek angkats, co-workers, family members,milk organisations, whispering hearts, my class advisor, the school CVC..

OMG im sooooo exhausted.. On top of that, the school applied me to be a student councillor of course with other classmates, NYAA to achieve a GOLD for my poly at the same time, im trying to achive a managerial role in my workplace. Can anyone slow me down???? Help!

On top of all these, im settling my family issues. *only BFFs know* day in and day out. My coach requires me to coach his school students, which i badly badly badly wanna do. and many more la... i lost hours of sleep and now, im injured... i have an injured back area near the glutes somewhere in the vertebrae.. Oh ya and dont forget.... My project and a month's worth of school assignments which i missed.........................................................HELPPP!!!!
*Eyla, miza, ayin, ahlau, aweng, I NEED YOU*

3) My dad's payment to the school. They're so many cocked-up transactions in school, that the CA is giving me a hell of a time. Pfft.. not as if i stay near this school, to get to and fro easier sister!

4) I gotta rush back to jurong asap to tutor ma adik angkatz and make it uo on time for my Voice of McDonald's contest of which i didnt qualify for the next round due to..... * roll in the crickets*..
Definitely i was the most musical of all people there with a musical background. I think time spent a lot in the kitchen broiled their brains for good.
I didnt qualify. but not always a bad news.. im freer now..

Hmm my life's a turmoil.. When i get to catch my breathe, i'll let you know...

PS today didnt go to school cause of my back pain and im deadly exhausted till a point i cant sit up! imagine that tiredness.

IM OUT!

Give him a round of applause!!!!!!!

Dearly beloved,
Im glad to say that I am not going to do my National Service afterall...

I have been accepted into doing Higher Nitec in Sports Management, a course so popular it's hard to get in. I got in without any prior interview, the only ONE from my Fitness Training Department from the the pioneer batch, April 2007.
I got in and totally fit in as if i reported back to school at FT. School's allocated at the ever famous ITE College East at Simei and seeing me reporting there, clearly state that i-so-dont-mind-about-the-time-and-distance!!!! LOL.

Hmm to be frank, I was thrilled as after stepping into the class and i saw Ahmad Arab, Mizi, Fieza and Reynerd..
And im in Reynerd's group work. LOL. Exciting.

Hmm.. and workwise.. im still planning. rider or manager. C how la..
till then, imma out!

An update that should had happened a long time ago.

OK. Since the last time ive updated this blog ive been dead busy.
Dead busy with the upcoming of the new age. Dead busy with finding school.
Dead busy with finding money to support myself. Dead busy to even sleep.
Since the dawn of april ever since march, ive been so busy that i had to stop most things and missed a lot in fact just to cater for all the things i need in life.

Some things happened for a long period of time, but some happened for a short period of time. Since the last time i wrote in, which is 4th of april, hmm pretty much a lot have happened do take note that i have lost so much hours of snooze that it's taking it's toll.

OK. First things's ferst, for the month of MArch up till the mid of April, Ive been earning a large number of money. Too much for me to remember actually and that at a very small wage. I'm paid peanuts per hour but hey im earning more than what an average person should earn. From Overtimes to Closing shifts, to save up for my birthday party that cost shockingly 1.3k spent JUST LIKE THAT!

Thanks to my adik-adikz husnul and hasif helping me to load and upload burdens off and on throughout the party, not forgetting syuk who stood by me during the party. The party was so massive that i had TOO MUCH guest attending, most are invited, some are accompanist and some are crashers. People at heart gave me gifts. Not forgetting ever loving bestfriend of mine Ayul, who gave me that special collage of our school life, I'll never forget that, will never forget FT and will never forget my BFFs, but of course having too many guest arriving, means that I-DONT-HAVE-TIME for everyone.

Although we were not off from a good start, we sure ended on a sweet note.
Current Guest list included(if not mentioned in sorry):
-Abg Fauzi n Wife,
-Lyy, Za and Dan,
-Ayul, Ayin, Sherri, Rhyno
-Cousins..Families..
Mak lang, mak teh (OUR OFFICIAL COOK), mak busu, uncle lan, uncle bu,
mak andak, pak busu, aunty suzanah and etc.
-lovely adik angkatz: acipz n husnul
-erin n bf, fiqah and bf, siti wan kembang and friend,
-eyla, khalid, ahmad, miza, naz, the FT-kins
And many more.
My last guest appeared at 3am and ended ard 6am in the morning till evryone slept on till the next afternoon up till 5pm.
Me and my adik angkatz slept like hell from the start of chalet till the next monday of which the birthday frenzy didnt end there, we went to visit ma kakak angkat, kak rinz and had my birthday lunch with her. Enjoyed it a lot. Thanks kak!

Hmm.. for all whu's name not mentioned didnt come or whatsoever reason. thanks for all the wishes and the gifts.

OK.
That was over,
hmm.. lets' see. Im back to silat which shockingly evryone else's learnt jurus 4. Clearly im a bimbo. I was left out coz i was struggling, even during stretching and warm up i sucked. Hmm coming back to perguruan, i forgot some people actualli but seeing them is definitely a sight for sore eyes, putra, shahrin, azmi, rhyno, sufeyan, baby, sherry, yana and zaf.
Hmm.. k im getting back to training, ive been on a sour note searching for school and etc and left Macan astray.

Hmm got a new job at VEnture. Im noe into the corporate life and doing business. hMM and now currently possess my own vehicle. heh.. maybe imma be a MCD rider soon. Time is running out for me as im going in for NS! wee..
wow. that's the ferst. whatever postings i'll get back asap. BFFs are gonna be notified soon.
Hmm. *answer your phone peepz*
At work people are saddened by ma decision, but hey, i have a responsibility to the country.
Hmm, defintiely after im gone it's gonna be quieter and much more boring without me. LOL. They'll survive la. They'll always do. I'll get my schedule fixed.

Current updates is that i came back to head office at mcdonald's and were missed by many at office. aawwww.. went to HQ for management meeting. how awesome is that? the only crew there. managers at jw were green with envy coz amelia, kak hawa and all other managers admire me and the big boss invited me over as a guest member, joined the voices of mcdonalds and is now in the second round. competing to win 25000 bucks and a free trip to Florida. How awesome?

Happenings, in the month of may, coaching at pierce primary, trip to batam, expensive family mass birthday celebration dinner at SAKURA, competition for silat friendly, competition in Voices of Mcdonalds, perhaps promotion? see how. lol. hmm we'll see.. i'll update again till then, toodles...

Updates.

Hmm lately ive been very very caught up with work,
making lots and lots of money to support ma bdae chalet that is an intercollaboration *right spelling?* with several of ma mates..

The ARIEN CHILDREN ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Cip's is on 11th,
Fauzi's and Roger's sons is on 10th *Fauzi's celebration's theme is "Superheroes"*
Awesome..,
Rozaime's on the 15th,
Aunty's daughter Aly's is on the 12th.
Mine's on the 14th.

So this time the celebration is bigger than ever as mcFrens, MDSfren, Macan-ians, Family, BFFs, Ft-kins are invited. This time there'll be no screw ups, no unwanted guests and no SWEAT! hahaha.. im having evrything caterred.. NO MORE BBQ-ing our own food.

But incy-wincy thing.. I FORGOT THE CAKE! dammit..
Hmm but definitely im haveing a dresscode.
hmm.. lotsa ppl stole this idea butttt..... im dooing it irregardless of all of u guys.. LOL..
Hmm..

before we get there.. there's a minor setback.. imma have to go thru lotsa appeals to get into POLY. pfft.. missed out on one.
BUT imma make it happen. LOL.

that's all for now i guess.. till then.. TOODLEZ!

PS: People at ma tagboard.. comp's kinda buat hal i cant reply u but im doing well do come for the party! C U!

How does Ryan do it?

Hmm..

*I am....... Ryan SpeL*

OK let me see, Ryan used to be a nasty person, but that nasty person decided to cool down and actually wants to become a Neutral dude.
But I guess since all good deeds goes unpunished, Ryan died and out from his own ashes comes out the Phoenix. Well this Phoenix sometimes rage out of control but certain times it can be controlled by it's owner, The Master.
Stay tuned...

Well reading the top paragraph, you'll all think im beserk.. Haha..
Well not really la. Im actually telling you a piece of story called "My Life"..
Haha..
Hmm did I ever remind you that "I'm cool, as long as no one agitate me"????
I mean what i say, so, catch a fallen star and put it in your pocket. Treasure me, i'll treasure you, agitate me, IT'S WAR B*TCH!

Still not understanding what im trying to convey here? Story goes like this.. I was an ok person when i started work. All neutral, abg2 rilek.. Skali someone, this person, N, decided to show off the ranked that was given to him a couple of months back.
Unrealised by this person, I had that chance before, and was given a rank, higher of what that is offered to him. Therefore, i have better knowledge of what is and what is not.
Hmm showing off gets you nowhere if you cant genggam the bara api that you've started hingga ia menjadi abu. My case, I genggamed my share of baras that i have so much abu that the biggest 'wind' in my work place cant seem to control the wildfire aka ME, and therefore attack his subordinates that listens to the wildfire.
Agaist this wildfire how ever is the ranked N, the spark. He likes to spark prolems and never seems to ever wanting to end the fire, created y him, that spreads like a WILDFIRE, so once this wildfire catches on, he gets burnt.

Settle to one side, and starts to weep, claiming that noone loves him anymore. Screw you! You brought this upon yourself assh*le. Hmm watch out man, cause this wildfire, is going to be your biggest competition, you wanna play a game, very well, i accept playing your game. And by the looks of it... IM WINNING!
This rant is specially dedicated to him. I doubt he has the balls to read this but even if he does, know this b*tch, YOU POSE NO THREAT TO THIS WILDFIRE..
Let's see who burns out first yeah?

BRing It ON!
Ryan out!

Certainly... I miss being a STAR..

Hmm lately, the lastest news i've heard from my ex-store, my Stars went from MMlia's Mighty Five down to Two...

I seriously miss them, being around them and werking with them, esp ma ex-boss MMLia.. the ONLY RM ive only respected.

Damned to the new one tt took over her.. LOL. She destroyed evrything MMlia, created.. It was a heartbreaking experience for me to leave them, leave my post and to not see them anymore, we actually chatted online and got back together..

One day perhaps, we shall be together again.. maybe someday..

Nuff saed abt that..

Hmm.. Ok, im havin a great tyme rekinding ma relationship w Lyy and Casper..
haha.. i really missed them so darn much.

Hmm.. plus, miccassa sukassa, im totally enjoying myself at work.. People are being nicer nowadaez, that they know that, Im not one to be messed around with.............. coz, this guy, BITES!

Lol.

Dont disturb or bother me and i can be the nicest guy at werk, do the exact opposite, the OPPOSITE comes out to haunt you.

Ok, plans out of work..

I mean "work" work..
Suk is back. I guess he has balls afterall..
It's this decision that people respect him..
You all out there knows some guys are dogs with hanging tongues when the sluts empires their ever-egotistical testicles called BALLS!

Yeah.. some are able to get out of the clutches but some just cant. So i guess this dude of mine, is trying to get away from the clutches.. Unlike some people i know.. IM sure u know whu u are.. Siapa makan chilli, dier raser pedas... ;)

Plans of the private life, out of the Fab Life... *like real*

Wed- Helping Kak Sfri to do CRTs. so yeah.. that's gonna be fun..

Thurs-Krk date with JwPeepz. IM sooooo Hogging the mic! i dont care!

Fri- Movie date w ever dearest and ever lovely Eyla and ever cuddled and ever cherished Ayin.

Sat- Lunch date with Cousin at Lot.

Sun- Hmm... Church? LOL. No la. Work la.. afterall, there's time to play and there's time to work to.. without work, there's no play! Lol..

Hmm.. perhaps i would update pictures but then, camera phone's kinda screwed so, im gonna TRY to snap some piccas.. *click click*
=)

Hmm that's all for now in a SWEET lyfe...

Ryan out!

Watch this Single Ladies: Spoof of Barrack and Justin Timberlake making a fool of himself... LOL

A day filled with an addictive drug... called Endorphins... LOL..

Today was a very very FUN day, despite having some idiots, never failing to entertain me with their idiocracy...
Of course without a doubt, it's anger that they'll usually receive as a price of every dense thing that they can come out with to me. DUH!

Hmmm.. ok other than that an interesting thing happened today at work, my Big BOSS, namely SQ. came down to our store. her name at the end sound like "CING", so the people named her "kucing" or "cat" in malay or call her "meow meow", ok, i came out with that, as a joke, but it stayed. Wow. Trend-setter material kape? LOL.

It was funny coz Sq walks so silently, you wont realise she's behind you, watching evry single thing you do, observing you and if u miss something, you'll get the shock of your life coz she'll just say "You missed that spot."
Right beside your ear.
You'll definitely go "WOAH, CHICKEN NUGGET!"*inside joke*

Haha.. Without realising, the past 15 minutes you've mopped, she's been behind you the WHOLE time.. That was funny. Of course not to the person that's getting the shock of their lyfe but to us, the onez watching "this" happen.. I couldnt' stop laughing.. LOL.

It's hilarious..

Hmm and one of the best things i like to do is when i shout at the top of my lungs, the names of my co-workers during their break time in the crampy Crew Room.. I'll just go, for eg "WENDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The reaction you'd get from their faces, are nothing but one word. Just like the MasterCard's Commercial...

The looks on your colleague when they're shocked? : PRICELESS...
LOLZ!
Now we can say.. There are just some thing in life you cant buy with money, for everything else, there's MASTERCARD..........
HAHAHAHAHAHA.. I love MasterCard's Commercials.. I alwae ended up laughing myself to death!
LOL...

Hmmm ok la.. im done.
RyanOut! Till next tyme...

The latest me. LOL.

Hmm, still figuring out what i should title this post.. But it doesnt matter...

Hmm, let me see, ok let's start back on Wed where me and ma peepz went back to school. Projected time was 10am.
I woke up? 10.15am. 35 miss calls from dearest Eyla, 5 miss calls from dearest Baby and several more from Petak, Kimmie and Pisang..

Hmm.. i was lyke.. muthafukka!! Im LATE!...
OK got up, got a stern warning from dearest Eyla *LOL*..
Bathe, then rushed to school, took a cab there.. Tau2 that KNS Mr M never come. CHitod!.. He left! Never tell us la...
Hmmph! Angry yet not phoenix! LOL.

So we headed to Ms C's office and handed up whatever needed to handed in, and me Pisang, Baby and Eyla went lepak-ingz at the nearest block at BB. Near N's. We spent tyme there chit chit chat chat and then went to OCK and makan.. Standard Procedure for us. LOL..

Hmm.. OK so by looking at this you'd be thinking, "arnt u werking?".
Yup. called up to be late for work and then, im very very late.. so took a cab back home, changed and happen that it's kak sfari werking.. awesome... and so happens... only have 2 closers instead of the normal 4.. so Yak got me to help out kakak.. i helped out.. Buat lobby..

Went home fell asleep and cant wake up... the exhaustion is unbearable..
so i told them i cant work the next day..
TUpTUp..
Yesterday, i werked from 3pm-2am.. KNS.. NO closer.. NAek sedap plak asking me to help-out.. Mind you help.. out..
Takpe.. coz it's KS, and cipz there so, i dun mind..
At least i have teman.. played patapon and got him then DON drum then we headed to ma hse..
Well, we had a long chat.. that's nice..
and i slept at 5am...
Now im awake.. at it's almost 3pm.

Pffft.. so need to brush up on the sleeping patterns..
that's all for now..

Ryan Out!

His performance was only 40% ON! Darn...

His dae was a bit of lethargic-ness..

Woke up to lots of pain all over the body thanks to fighting with 3 of ma co-silatfwens and ma own coach who won me wholesomely in the fight..

He presented me with IP MAN method. LOL.
That's a bummer, he cornered me to the wall!!! I lost that one. Painful.... but interesting experience.. haha.. twice he defeated me... insyallah one day, manerlah tau... haha... we draw.. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! mcam paham je ryan..

Hmm... back to todae, i woke up to sore throat, fever and several flu symptoms, infected by mummy dearest and ma adopted mummies at work.. funny.. MUMMIES... LOL.
Went to work and surprisingly, BOSS was very nice and concerned about me.. He gave me a remedy to ma sore throat... how nice.. tapi tak termakan umpan la.. deng.. i know evry good deed will never go unpunished... look at ma allegedly "BFFs"...
Evrything i do is nice to them.. wat i get in return? SH*T. Nie uh, lepaskan anjing, dier gigit balek..maklomlah da 'kenek', nafsu binatang buas la.. LOL..
That's y, no close relationships with ma co-workers.. Nothing to be of the sort.

PLus i have ma faithful adeqz... cipz, anz, pika and etc. hmmm abg sayang adeqz.. plus kak sfari is nice.. haha.. i love werking w them...
awesome people. hmm lemmi see.. ok at work i was pale.. falling sick mah..
but amazingly i pulled thru.. then off to silat, da demam2, still silat.. i love silat.. im sick, injured..
hmmm passion makes all injuries go away..
haha...
injuries are as such: right arm, right anterior tibialis, right inner quad, both glutes, left gastro, erectus, both trapez, NOW Jaw!!! dammit..the new kid tojang me there.. dumb ol me.. saper suro tak elakk!!! LOL..
Kan da kenek... SAMPAI SENGET! hahahahaha..

Hmm yuo gotta buck up ryan.. you're dreaming!
hmm cant waet for next trg.. psl cheng san tutup for 2 weeks.. *yawn*

hmm till then...
Ryan out...

Ps: i miss eyla ryin n ayul..

Comeback!

Life clearly has to move on..
After finding out she, is a sleep-around kinda bitch whu that has a face to actually come forward and preach about "hey-look-at-me-im-a-virgin" look.. Ouh cmon.. evryone knows that dude robbed you of your virginity and puhleese.. look where ure getting at. you cry day and night over his loss, actually touching others is clearly a big scene for you.. yup a conformed thing that, "I LOST Y VIRGINITY TO A COMPLETE ASSHOLE".. You're it honey... haha...

Hmmm bigger picture's what i already seen.. Perhaps u trying to say that "im the religious teacher child" type might work if i were born yesterday... This shall be the last post ever dedicated to such a cheap whore that calls herself "honey" i mean seriously whu does that??? Biggest cheek?? She throws herself at guys, with her slutty short skirt and kinky attitude.. Girl... You have to like be updated... FYI. there is something called "deoderant", Body odour control... PErhaps that should be your next target in life...

If there were to be a compo, entitled "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Perhaps an option of your struggling with you BO or, or, "My life as a teenage mum, who sells herself.." or even "How i struggle to make my life actualli WORK!" that's a masterpiece..

Tepok dada, tanye selera... suck c*ck much???
LOL..
accusing me are u? I aint guilty. So. yeah... ;)

Aint gonna say her name. But yeah..
___MOVING ON_____

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**Stepping On to the bad side**
You've stopped me once, you aint stopping me again....

Life has never been better, hmmm work, school, home... Yeah...
No longer dependant on others.. Ooo the feeling of steering your own life really drives me to pursue the best.. Having people looking up at you, says a lot about wat are becoming or what you became. Hmmm rants will never be apart of this blog no more, lest it's for work..

Hmm, come to talk about it.. Work.. Ouh, that's one tough cookie... But love the job!
Seriously.. Giving in time to actually do good really makes me appreciate life more.. *weird*
Just that i shall control myself not to become hamba duit la.. kerja stengah mampus then .......
I know, u know la ehh...

Hmmm the Ft-kins are having another reunioun for our final presentation before we go our parted ways as CGR classmates. But... not before the graduation that is... to ika and co, sorry cant join the FT reunion.. Clubbing in the gym sound fun but i just dont have the time for it...
Busy la.. maner nak layan silat, important BFFs and family and werk and school is starting soon...
We shall see, end of the day, end of the time, truth prevails.
and.. whu knows.. i shall have the last laugh...??
Waet....
I already do...
LOL...

Ryan out..

Sorry for the busy-ness..

Past few weeks was so busy..Ever since last January ive been caught up with work,
school, pergas, silat, kompang and lots more.
Hence me not updating this particular blog right... *obviously*
And wouldnt you know, i feel sick right in the middle of getting things done.. im slowly recovering now...


Let me light you up on some updates..
Sleeping hasnt improve yet but ive been having lots and lots of dreams..
LAte night television shows, Clean HOuse and SPlit Ends..
UNwanted dreams btw..


Silat is awesome. We're now moving into the next phase of the trainings, looking into the silat clinics. One of the ways to catapult us into silat stardom. LOL. *like real*
Hmm.. Also looking into the future... I am in charge of the clothes design, kompang intercollaboration, planning to do tarian silat, seni silat perhaps dikir barat?? Hmm.. we shall see..

Good news everyone, i am now working full-time at JW75 mcd again.. we shall see.. and working at Macan.. See how flexi mcd is?? I just love it sometimes... NEw love??? WOrk...
Not a hamba duit like some people sampai lupekan dunia, just loving the job and doesnt mind the pay.. that's what im into...
MAking new friends.. having new bros.. how awesome is that but i still love the old ones..
hmm eyla, hyrul and ayin.. guess what...
ATTACHMENT is coming to an end~!!!!
haha.. i so cant waet to like "get out of" Fitness Training tho i am really gonna miss it sooo sooo much...

Nuff saed about the "sad" little part of graduation.. I have already applied to go into poly to pursue further studies.. Please pray to god that i'll get the course that ive truly wanted pweeeshhh!!!!

Hmmm im not gonna change my job anytime soon due to me having to waet for my bike... My dad saed he wanted to make it my birthday present.. well... birthday's not that far off.. i dun mind waeting afterall patience is a virtue.. LOL..

hmmm.. current affairs??
ive just finished my 2yr pending presentation of FT's Industrial Attachment featuring Ryin as my subject.. i hope i can get that lovely GPA to hit a full 4.0..
INsyallah...

before i end this post.. take note to that particular femme fatale.. What goes around will come around. All you need to do is watch out for yours... it's coming your way triple threat baby!
the "NICE" ship has sailed.. Bad ol' me might actually come back to haunt you... MIGHT come back. Watch your back!

PS: thanks cousin for borrowing me your laptop..
love you!

Ryan OUt~!

The Dey.

Tomorrow is the day the FT-kins are meeting up at Bukit Batok
for a mini reunion.. CGC-CGR reunion..
As usual the planners are never different. It's always me n Eyla..
Whu would thought that hearing Ayul's voice made me teared up..
That is how much i miss him. Hearing him disturbing me again really touched me
and shreded my heart into pieces, of course in a good way..
I miss you bro.

Hmm.. hearing the other's wanting to spend time with us again really is music to the ears...
hmm to top it off, mR M is cming to visit me at ma attachment place.. Errr scary much?
I just hope ma coach give me two thumbs up.. Coz.. i wanna go poly... please....
can i can i can i??
Need to maintain that 3.7 GPA and just maintain a good record for now..
Hmm lately also i've not been paying attention to Eyla.. haiyoyoh..
tak per.. this 'reunion' is for you to own me. Im yours for the day..
DROWN ME WITH UR NONSENSE!!!! LOL...

Hmm.. Problems after problems came along..
My sleep is getting much more violent and out of my control..
the reason is here.. scary but it's here.. i'll explain..
I've ended up with a painfully internal bruising of the palm, several minor bruises
on my arms and hands, scratches and cuts on my forearm and bruises all over my body..
It seems that evry night when i sleep i am subconciously hitting, throwing my phone to the floor, actually answering a phone call, saying hello but to no one, or sending sms to random people, typing "xakfdnkjlnefnnjnrefc3423rjsnfn"......
Even punching, standing up, sitting down, kicking or biting involuntarily.. I always wake up finding myself in a awkward position..

Days back, i caught my own hands inside the sofabed's wood. all scratched up.. the part where the bed folds, has a hole. That hole has thick sharp wood in it.
I actually put my hand in it and when i felt pain, i noticed my hand were inside the sofabed as if i lost something and trying to find it..

It started weeks back... i removed the sliding door of my bedroom cupboard the day after... it when i i felt my cupboard door falling onto me. not once quite a number of times..
i woke up, fixed it back and went back to sleep...

the last one i couldnt take it becoz it fell right on top of my chest while im sleeping.. it was damned painful la..
and the cause of it is in my sleep, i've been kicking it as if im kicking a padding..
Now i know why i wake up with painful foot sometime.

So far ive never really paid attention to my violent sleeping patterns until lately as it got worse and worse where im caught in between being concious and asleep. Yesterday night itself, i woke up, standing in the kitchen. How scary was that? Ive never never never remembered sleepwalking nor i been to the kitchen. But i was in the kitchen, trying to open the fridge and it was the temperature of the opened up fridge woke me up. i was shocked but i didnt pay much attention to it and went back to sleep.

i tot maybe im too tired but sometimes if i happen to sleep in a bus during day time, i notice i did this things sometime but not as terok as night time... it's just shaking my legs... not that bad la..

I felt something not right so i decided to get help... i need explaination..
I called up 'her' and asked her what is happening?
This few weeks has been hell for me, im ever sleeping but is always tired..
'She' saed, ive been ganggu-ed. Ader gangguan.. She said there is something about me this 'thing' likes..
Some stupid thing that has 7 faces or something...

Here we go again.. i tot dis crap has died off.. never to bother me again.. NOW it's back to disturb me? Whatever did i do to it for me to deserve this? wretched whatever you are la!!!
You caused me so much trouble!
Now i have to go to 'her' to get my protection or i'm never gonna sleep properly...
I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS!!!!!!
DAmned you la!
You cause me soooo much misery..
Jangan i find out nie antaran orang... itu orang aku abeskan la!! ARGH!!

First my mum.. now me?? No wonder my mum's eyes gets bloody red and teary all this while..
i got her to do Al-nas and Al-falaq, it worked.. her eyes are back to normal now..
i think imma try it out myself..

Ryan out!

Bridges

Building bridges is never easy..
You need strong timber,
powerful nails,
good builders,
a perfect coating of paint...
all,
for the bridge's stability and maintainence..

In doing so,
you have to have:
Faith
Patience
Peserverence..

If the bridge is life,
you're the timber, the life you choose,
the nails are the frens or kins you are with
the builders are your parents and yourself
and a perfect coating would be 'nur' from God...

This bridge is going to be
the passage for you to peace and righteousness..
have faith my frens
coz evry now and then,
there are destroyers... the enemies..

like:
the strong wind,
heavy rain,
the raging flood,
OR
woodlouses or termites...

Use a good foundation and you'll still stand tall..
Be sure of yourself..
Dont make enemies make you fall and tremble into dusts....

Ryan Out!

Kalau dua yang bertanya, yang mana satukah harus hancur hatinya?

Kalau di dalam situasi seperti ini..

2 insan telah meluahkan cintanya kepadamu..

Yang satu, selama ini kamu mencintainya, kakaknya,

tetapi dia penah menyakitimu...

Yang lagi satu adiknya.. Selama ini dialah sahabat paling baik anda

dan juga telah meluahkan cintanya

kepadamu tetapi kamu tak pernah ada perasaan padanya tetapi bila sudah diluahkan,

akhrinya kamu mencintainya...

Siapakah yang harus kamu menghacurkan supaya yang

sebaiknya akan bahagia bersamamu?

Dan akankah adik beradik ini pergaduhan??

Bergaduhan kerna dirimu...

Sanggupkah kamu untuk membuat sedemikian untuk merasai cinta sejati

yang antara satu mereka yang boleh memberimu...

Jawablah dengan hati terbuka..

Aku perlu pandanganmu...

Ryan Out!

Aku insaf...

Hmm.. today went to class..
Ive decided to respect his decision and give him space.
I dont wanna offend him much further.
I went to class and studied only. But seeing him is a sight for sore eyes la.
I tried to maintain a respectable distance.
I hope he forgives me....
Allahuma'i my friend.....

And~..
I forgot i didnt have books.. At first i panic sey..
i was lyke darn ma dad tak belikan..

Naseb baek someone was nice enough to offer to share his books.
May God bless you my friend. I dont know his name tho..
One thing about madrasah is.. There's no bully and no prejudice...
Semua datang with the same thinking to graduate sucessfully..
We are equals there.. *i think la*
so all will study hard.. i hope so.. i tot evryone was smarter than me.
apparently there are people that are just as clueless as me.

Insyallah whatever the uztaz teach i am able to absorb,
coz i have a problem with jawi and arab.
I hope God gives me the ability to absorb evrything.
I hope uztazah can guide me to read the Quran and finish (katam) it by this year?
hee..

My new resolution.. *to read Quran wout gagap-ing!!*
Insyallah i will.. she's a good uztazah.. just 2 weeks and im in Iqra 4.
Syukur kan... hee..
LOL...
I hope i can be what the uztaz said you can be.. hehe.. a debator in islam to
prove to the kafirs that we are the right way to God.
Insyallah maybe thru me ramai lagi akan memeluk agama yang mulia ini..
*chey* insyallah.......

Hmm.. maybe i get to marry "her"..
LOL.
but... i must find a way to make her nice and more solehah la..
and... make her love me.. that's the ferst step...
orang da gatal nak kahwin la katerkan..
tapi belom jumpe jodoh camner?
dapat jumpe satu, da ade yang punye..
jumpe lagi satu.. dier telah berjauhan...
yang ini, i wanna try make it work..
pray hard i get to be with her kkkkkkkk?
LOL..
cousin knows whu... right2?
shh...
now's not the time yet...

Ryan Out!

I regret. I'm sorry my friend..

I've realised my mistake and i hope my friend forgive me.
If i were what you thought I were, wouldnt i have done it a long time ago?
why now would i wanna show ma true colours..
I know what i did was wrong. It was unintentional.
It was a stupid mistake that happened consecutively that particular time of the day,
where im half-concious and half-not.. im in a dazed state.. and i truly regret it.
I know i've hurt and offended you...
I always seem to screw up dont i??
im such a screw-up...
hmmm...
I have came out with the reason behind that mistakes and you know why it happened
and i hope you forgive me..
i truly do.
please......





I am sorry and i truly regret all my actions...
I beg of you...
Please forgive me..

Grey area..

On one hand, im lyke estatic that i've passed ma TP at ma ferst trial..

total demerit? 18 points!!!

that was close..

-

celebrated it with my ma mum cum her bdae celebration

and celebrated with bestfriend.

-

-

-

and on the other im having mixed messages.

i hope ive done nothing bad that i may regret later.

-

-

-

did i?

or didnt i?

coz i think i did..

and, i think i did bad but not intentionally..

hmm... i regret....

-

-

cut the suspense please..

--

-

Ryan out.

I need a time-out.. from? -THE WERLD.

Lately classmates have been giving me phonecalls or/and even uncessary

text messages..

Cmon la ppl... get a lyfe.. im in my most busiest part of my life..

not that i dun miss all of you, i do but im exhausted from starting out at a new job,

TP round the corner, silat in my peak,

going to classes..

and~~

-

-

-

im having difficulties spending time with ma bestfrens and that cuts.

but i managed to spend tyme with the hearts, ryin n sherri and of course ma true bro...

that's important and that's enough i guess, for now...

even taking a part of my time to be with family is kinda strickened...

-

-

-

nonetheless mummy and mak long riped a year older..

both has the same birthday,

11 JAN 2009..

HAPPY BDAE IBUKU!!!

HAPPY BDAE MAK LONG!!!

-

-

-

Hopefully the year of the OX is beneficial for both of you..

Me n bro got her a present..

she was so touched..

we love our ibu mah...

kan kan?

*bro, think fast*

e'hem e'hem...

LOL...

-

-

-

Hmm silat is never better only that day when

a certain friend sparred with me and due to his lightweight, was sent

flying around the gelanggang, he seemed kinda "pissed off" after sparring..

I totally lost ma cool and went 'phoenix' as one of his kicks

hit ma jaw and cut ma tongue..

Alamak.. Sorry dude...

Today's trg tho is mega fun!!

what was supposed to be a blocking movement turned into bantingans as

ma fellow co-silat friends were lightweights... LOL..

-

-

Till here then..

Ryan Out!

Alhamdulilah... So far so good.. But some thing i have to share.

It's been the end of week one of 2009 and things are pretty much good.
It's going the way i wanted it to. Sort of.

Hmm watching videos of the famous Ahmad Deedat or Dr Zakir Naik or, even simple youtube videos done by Islam converts really make you think twice about your religion. These people breathes ISLAM! It puts us to shame as born muslims and we're behaving like the murtads or worst the kafirs. What is that?

We see day in and day out, muslims drink in public face, clubs and/or even swear in public.
Cursing their mothers, fathers, daughters, sons or even the one they dedicated their heart to, their wives or husbands...
What's worst if they're being questioned about the religion and they say "Ahhh, i dont give a damn, im not ready to be a proper muslim yet. My time is not here yet."

My question to you is, "When? When are you going to embrace our beloved religion?"
Perhaps...
Till you see a loved one pass on? Are you willing to sacrifice your heart for your salvation?
If so, how many loved ones must kick the bucket before your eyes can be opened and actually realise that "Hey time is running out!"???

Im not perfect. Im not saying that i am. But I know my limits. I have principles. I have my stand.
Im still learning. No doubt im already reaching my late teens but at least God gave me hidayah to actually THINK and SEE what is happening to my surrounding situations...
That's why im learing back the ways of my religion. Going madrasah n mengaji...

PAst is that:
Each day as i am lazy to beribadah, He takes away bits and pieces of the things i need in life.
Each day that i feel, IM LONELY. My heart is empty.
I dont feel loved.
So, a typical person.. "Lonely? Go clubbing uh can find girls/guys!!"

YUP! Do that exactly. Not only you're empty, you fill your life with more sins..
Kene ingat.. Satu hari kite kene tanggung kesemua dosa2 nie.. It wont just vanish!
Remeber, you will be judge on the day of Judgement... Nak ke masok neraka?
It's enough that you're flaunting your aurat... it's enough that you're allowing fornication as a part of your life.. some even had to have a bastard created amidst the "love scene" they have with their partners... *sayang lagi budak tu... anak haram, the new trend!*
On top of that, you club, drink and literally FORGET your kewajiban!
Wow. Dosanye bertepek2 la...

Yang da pakai tudung or orang yang salu sembahyang la pulak...
Bila Someone is having a discussion about religion...
Waa... Dier maha pandai! Berbual tak beralas...
Kalau boleh nak hapuskan orang2 nie... How dare you insult ma religion....
HYPOCRITES!
Aku orang Islamlah katerkan~...

And there they are.. Plucking eyebrow... Tattoed.. Pierced all over macam lembu..
Best part.. Meraba2 mataernye... IN FRONT OF OTHERS MIND YOU...
Yang boleh awardkan "Best Perfomance by a Juvenile Artist"
BUAT VIDEO.................... Dengan tudungnye nie......... DALAM MASJID!!!
Budak2 madrasah tercontoh tu namernyer.....
Waa... Bestnye...

Hmm while there's time people, repent.
I know people are going to read this and curse, criticise and whatever to me.
But this is the truth, if not i wont say..

Ryan OUt!

Day 2 of the new year. Samer jugak.

Hmm.. Not exactly happy with the new year la. Not necessarily a bad thing, just that im not enjoying as much. Im sickly. Got better, but became sickly yet again.
Now having cough and irregular sore-eyes "attack" hmm... i dont get it~. Asik sick je....

Wanna go doc, no cash.
Cash? have to wait for parents..
Parent's pay? Not in yet.
Damned la..
mungkin ini dugaan kecil untukku?
hmm.. ku trime.
then ma TP is in days time and im afraid of it. i wanna pass.....
Can pray for me people?
i wanna pass it at one try as i cant afford retakes. im broke and i dont have a job.
difficult to get one. seriuosly.. recession is such an a**. economy is down.. haiyoh..

Again.. it's dugaan nye.. trime je..
hmm.. let's see. Ive been scrutinising and blog hopping and perhaps
i have read some things that im not happy about. People talking about self-pity or
their never-will-be-good love life or life itself..
OR best part.. trying to woo the person they "LOVE"...
Where have i heard that one b4?
Oh ya.. MAny apparently... tolong la.. tau malu sikit boleh tak?
kalo ader jodoh, tak kemana la.. Day in day out trying to please the one you claim
you love.. Trying so hard...
GROW UP LA...

And what's that? You are busy till you dont have time for others?
and, you get angry when others dont have the time of day to spend with you??
YOU, are no longer 15! It's time to look around and grow up.
you are not the only ones that is busy, evryone else is.
Doesnt have to be busy with work. People have commitments.. Families and friends.
Try to have a heart and think about that. Maybe your life wouldnt be so MISERABLE!
Pfffft!! Seriously..

Ryan OUT!

Happy New Year... Welcome 2009!

The New Year is here..

-

2009

-

Hmm happy wishes to all...

i dont celebrate the new year.. never ever did since last year...

Aku tak jakon macam segelintir manusia yang hidup dalam hidupku..

aku tak jakon untuk pergi ke daerah-daerah town just to see "Bunga Api"...

How many offers have i gotten?

Many.

Please la. Korang nie macam Bodoh!

Pelakos sangat nak tengok bunga api...

I mean c'mon la.. It's fireworks year in and year out...

plus it's way more too common nowadays..

Rayer: Bunga Api...

New Year: Bunga Api...

CNY: Bunga Api..

-

-

My New Year's Resolution will make people think i've changed for the worse.

As it involves me not being as active as i used to be.

I am going to literally extract people i dont need in my life.

Those who often lead me to create sins or those who think they're are my friends,

i'm telling you off, if you're not.

Coz you wanna be friends with me, prove yourself worthy of it.

make me love you.

I dont believe in casual friends.

coz the friendship is never based on trust.

that's y i only have a true bestfriend a several very very close BFFs.

and in rgards to my family,

Im staying NEUTRAL. Even in 2009....

-

-

to end year 2008,

i wish you all the best..

Assalammualaikum...

Ryan OUt!