AM I SUCH A BOTHER?

Im having mix messages from people i love most.

My BFFs, my family, my frens, my co-workers, mgrs, and bosses....

I feel as if im such a bother to them, i am not the usual me,

no longer noisy and etc..

But why people treat me as if, "Oh here he goes again!!~~"

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This whole week ive been sad as my heart is churning as the one i love is

giving me super mix messages and im hating the feeling that im getting.

On top of that, i my dear besties have been excluding me from things,

with or without their knowledge,

giving me that kinda look where they have to be forced to listen to me,

or when talking to them or texting them and it seems their not interested.

some even went to the extent of snapping at me and shutting me off..

family members have been giving me a lot of "WHY ARE YOU SUCHA ******* SLEEZE?"

kinda atitude towards me.

Then when asked about it they say "NO LA WHERE GOT?"

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I dun need the unwantedness la.

hmm making me feel like im a fifth wheel is enuf, makin up

lies to say that this is this, that is that...

apparently some people, when going out with me,

be it frens or family,

hp busy w messages and call...

and instantly they reply those. without caring wheter you are there or not,

wheter u are toking to them or not..

they just go *click-clackaty-click*

but...

biler part me yang message or call,

aLmost Impossible to ever reach them,

even da dapat, they cant spend the time of day to actualy give

me a chance to have a decent chit chat or sms...

it's ok..

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I get it.

I know when im not wanted.

This week im going to shut myself off..

Im tired,

exhausted and falling sick.

again.

im taking up responsibilties the size of america and

im not getting enuf pay.

work is hell.

i hate working esp if it interfere with my social life.

i feel so pathetic and

feel pathetic at myself for feeling miserable.

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I dun enjoy good life huuh..

well yeah..

i need REST.

from everythin.

maybe it's just me or what.

i also dunnoe.

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IM shuttin off evryone.

dun worri if u guys message i'll reply.

but im not meeting anyone anytime soon.

aku kan macam menyusahkan korang kalo jumpe.

hmm.. only that im meeting Za for lunch tmr, and that's it.

i will be out from your life till which you find that i have a need for you.

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today, at Vyang's also the same.

sudahlah.

i give up!

bye!

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Ryan out!

Last day alone at work.

Sunday! finale.
hmm i wanted it to end soon. as im much anf far too tired.
working alone and travelling here and there on public transport is a really tiring and
exhausting thing to do..
The struggle to wake up at the right time, get the right train or bus..
im not likin it...
hold on there ryan... 4 more months aje...
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ok the day has not ended yet but early morning da kenek ngan nasty customer
hmmm naseb baek kak nora telepon..
evryone is expecting sly pat sini. but then bimbo tu tkd.
me alone la. only 6 more hours to go and i can go home!
ytd str8 after work went to Fajar ader salam lebaran,
there's taufik batisah, which reminds me so much of bro,
aliff aziz, mcm fake gitu but i like his voice,
ziana zain, my ever ever ever idol!,
natasha,
ravelina,
dato m daud kilau, he is a corny one,
ali world frm anugerah, deleriously hilarious..
i was enjoying the nyte, in ma sweater and in that hot place tapi
tak dapat raser pnasannye. fact it is as if
im sitting at salle ryte nw. cold as hell.
hmmm LRT ride home and then me maklang, makbusu, her children,
mum n desy went makan at mcdonald's je24(entertainment centre)..
Service rating 2 out of 5.
sucks big tyme.
nonetheless i was sleepy and was in need of a shower as im sooooo sticky
went home in a cab, shower, shaved and packed ma stuff,
the off to Vjyang;s hse. He went down to get something and i let myself in
surprisingly his family treats me like ma femily treats him,
as if i live there.. hahaha..
mcm tk sadar im a guest.. it's a good ting..
that means im family!!
aww...
stayed over and had a sleepover...
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Anw ive had a gr8 news and have yet to reveal it to the world.
stay tuned for that.
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tonight im going to Vjayang's house again...
insyallah can sleepover again.. sok kan diwali can rest longer..
plus today is ma sister desy's birthday...
HAPPY BDAE DARLING!
Ur present kenek tunggu sampai i abg ader gaji k..
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Being alone at work is fun as i can blog n yada2 and noone disturbs me,
but i have to handle crap from people a lot.
alone!
i hope somedays at BAL dapat work w kak nora again
and at PWP dapat work alone.
with no corny customers.. idcare...
haha..
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I tot wanna naek motor monday, they're closed for diwali..
wadever..
i also cancelled mcdonald's as i need rest!
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for now... that's it..
plus there;s no silat tomoro.. alhamdulilah dapat rehat and meet Vjyang agian ke...
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Ryan Out!

Busy week.. im alone at work!

It has really been a busy week aint it? Hmm wholesomely spent my time on work and nothing else.
Hmm on monday i had ma 5.02 pract after 3 weeks of not coming to practs and surprinsingly i can ride without falling and almost 8 times i almost fell but managed to handle the handlebar properly.
That was close!
Hmm thing about my pract is, i failed. *deng*
i got 2 immediate failures and a total of 26 demerit points.
I dun know wheter i've blogged this but here it goes, yet again.
just read on.
For pillioning, i got a pillion the size of a mother-effing hippo. he's 4 times my weight and the slightest movements he makes wobbles the whole bike causing us a lot of danger. fakkawi him. told him to stay still degil, da accident baru tau. it was during ebrake, ngah speeding that fello moved! 3 times plak tuu. while changing gears, i almost fall of the bike. naseb tau counter that c-force. idiut siak.
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Tuesday.
Hmm. great and awesome day.
work with kak nora at BAL can never be better.
i loike!
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Wednesday.
1st day alone at PWP then have to go USQ for lesson.
OMG it was hell i tell u..
the students at PWP wasted a lot of time playing soccer and that deprives me of my fencing lesson. they took so much time that when i got to USQ, i was an hour late into the class. DARN it.
but the coach is awesome. It's ms teo.
she's funner to be with around.
hmm then i had a dream of Vyang. weird.
i muz be missing. i do actucalli.
oh well..
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Thursday.
i didnt sleep the whole nite ytd.
thinking about that 'love' so..... much so.
hmm..
then morning 1st day of dual working. been years since i done that and never
clashed like this before.
McD: 7am-12pm
Z: 2pm-10pm
i was sooo tired i almost gave up.
I was at the verge of breaking down. Tired from work, no sleep, thinking abt 'love'
I only ta pao sausage mcgriddle and that's practically my breakfast-lunch-dinner.
at Z.....
2nd day alone.
nothing happens much as the salle is practically open for enquiries.
no payment, no classes, nothing..!!
i had fun tho.
as i had a lot of phone calls and my hp is busy wif ppl i love.
Vyang even called me. Spent the time chatting with him.
and surprisingly, Vyang wanted to meet me.
I was tired but i dun care i went str8 to meet him up.
met him and he and wanted to have a light run but then it rained.
NO it POURED!!
heavy sia. from east to west!
NVm la so i went and had a sleepover at Vyang's as my clothes are all wet and
i was famished and tired so just sleepover. I miss Vyang a lot sia.. finally dapat lepaskan rindu.
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Friday.
had to wake up early as both Vyang n me work morning and i was late.
Mcd at 7, i woke up at 645.
bgos!
went to work but noone said anything.
mcm2 cutomer i face.
i was the runner.
hmm then pucnh out and manage to talk to ma MCd boss,
she symphatises with me and she's ok that im busy.
thank god. went to work and wanted to close shop early as ma dear bro picking me up from work.
but the budak2 saket ati. suro brambos tknk brambos, maen bola pulak. i switch off evrything pon masih maen bola. aku tendang bola2 pelih satu2 aru tau...
then one more irritating thing is, i close the POS alry, ppl wanna make payment.
wtf!! arent u aware of the timing. naseb baek she wanna bbl2 with E.
i cabot, met bro, he actaulli waetd for me for 2hrs plus. kesian kan. and send me home.
and he's off to meet his fren.
i went to Vyang's house and stayed over one more nyte playing Patapon. haha..
it was cute.
he had to go out to run errands so i was too tired to waet and fell asleep.
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this morning woke up late. not so late la. but not the timing i aimed and
i didnt press snooze instead i pressed cancel.
oopz!
then i just rushed to work la.
Vyang send me out.
Now im at work and im bored.
thinking that the worse of the worse cant happen,
ytd ma GM, T came down to check up on me.
He's impressed that im doing well.
but he says i have to be more observant.
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Ryan OuT!

Kinda ma day..

Latest news i heard abt Z is that they're gonna offer a fulltyme job to both me n eyla and even offering us to sign a contract with them. I'm like, WTF! Im not signing any papers just as yet.

I cant even handle werking now with the current situation of constant hell and they want me to be a full-tymer? T can cut with the bullcrap about privilages. I doubt things are gonna happen as they are. I have been working since im 14. And it know their tactics to lure people into their company. I know what T is projecting. FYI T, i am a STAR and i am trained in the marketing field as well as interpersonal-personal field much too well and i know he is a two-faced dino just waeting for prey at his jaws.

As for E, i've seen the worst there is and my tolerance level is still under control. No matter how angry i am, i am a muslim and im trying to kawal ma anger. Pa'kal ko bunting lembu!. pfftt..

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Enuf of negativities.. I dun need them ryte now. Hmm the tarots and the constellations did say that werking life is not going well but i have a choice to turn in from down to up. well i am making that decision. Since the family needed money, and people need me, i am thereby continueing work at MCD to continue support ma mum and ma other needs. I;ve alry worked out the timing and work out the days. So everyday i'll be working from 6am-11pm. Depending on the time that I reach home and etc.

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I dun expect people to understand my situation la but for some people, im making a heck of a sacrifice for you and this is wad i get?? Allah maha besar dan maha kaya. I dont wish anything bad for you. You'll know when the tyme is ryte. but im wishing you well for now...

i have to stay positive.

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to deareast2 berox. please la. it's not u.

pfft. haha..

but it helps if u reply ma msg instead of waeting for the bread to be mould.. *deng deng*

i miss u a lot btw!!

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Hmm work to today was awesome. Coz i didnt work w WL. Instead i worked with kak Nora.. OMG i tot mati2an she;s gonna maki me ruper2nye she knows the true culprit behind all the mistakes she's just pretending that she's angry at me jadi tu botak konon2 tau yg dier tk salah.. well u are indeed dumb baldy!!

hmm.. anw today i had a mini chitchat w wellness infinty bos, james.

he wants me to work for him.

job? things im already doing at Z...

gendeng... hmm i wan coz ader za. but then nvm org jual mahal, im not buying.

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Hmm tmr-sunday...

alone.

no nora,

no sylvest,

no eyla..

im bored!!!!

i feel like giving up seyyz..

i dunnow la..

hmmm... help anyone??

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Ryan OUT!

Not ma day

OK werk was hell today.

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E was giving a hell of a hard time at werk and is even threathing me to give a

bad review about ma work. Camner nie? Im kinda pissed off at her. Ferstly she thinks i freakin own the clinic at ma old workplace. Askin me why i didnt tell the doctor that im working on weekends and needed the time off for MC.

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Then she ask me why im sick on the weekends. wtf?! am i supposeto know im gonna be sick on the weekends? isnt it riduculous? da gitu takpe. I gave her the MC and she says "next time, dont fall sick esp the weekends". In ma hart i say mayb next time when i happen to be sick on the weekends, i will postpone my sickness to the week after, make appointment to fall sick another day. *super sarcasm here*

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Call herself ma manager, how ridiculous is that? T also interfere, he saed it's

ridiculous i cant work saturdays, i was like, wtf man..

They freaking tink im psychic or wad?

they think that i can predict that my silat can happen as i predicted.

they ask me why my training is on saturdays.

Do i freaking look like the coach of macan pasrah?????????

Cmon uh they are super ridiculous sey.. macam picking on me ajer...

i know im an intern but please eh.. i know a labourer's rights..

jgn test sua.. my tolerance has a ceiling, and this is makin it closer to the ceiling...

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ok practically after all the reprimandments,

she actualli left me alone for a while and then came the fucking tasks that she set

for me to do and she speaks as if i have a freaking recorder in ma head..

there is soooo much info and she's shooting at me all of it at one shot until i reach a point to malas nak layan her and i just shut off.

da lah saket perot. i was like berry2ing alot and it's diaorrhea and i hate it so much..

ive been fallin sick here and there..

baek feverish. baek flu. baek allergies, now diaorrhea again.. cibai uh!

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ok to top it off.. that stupid WL give me problems while updating BAL stock update,

then kak N marah at me you know becoz he actualli type "Stock Bal-Rian" at all the stocks

and now i have to answer for his stupidity.. cibai btol im so freaking angry with that bald guy la..

give me problems on top of my problems.

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K then after close shop, actualli got a lot more happen uh but malas nk criter, buat bingit je..

hmm then bro msg to meet up, meet up alry skali dier ngan kawan dier..

ask me to waet for his fren's mum la nak amek him balek,

then takes forever, i cant even chit chat w bro coz got someone i dun know n i dun even trust,

then he just sent me home, ingatkan nak hang out ke ape ke.. i was like expecting that la...

kiter busy dier lagi busy.. his silat is now on a daily basis..

suke ati ko la nak..

cakap nnt tak suker.. who am i to control u anw..

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speaking of which, that person also one thing, org msg2 call2 tk tau nk reply,

merajok ke ape ke, i did somthing wrong to you or what?

ke hp mmg danak buang?

*moment of anger*

nevermind uh dunwan to say anymore..

IM NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY!!

URGH!

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Ryan Out!

Cant Really Complain can i??

Ok here's the sich. Yesterday i was alone at parkway, literally alone running the whole salle by myself. No supervision. No coach. No kids. Hardly any customers/clients. Just a few phone calls here and there and i certainly wasnt in the mood to entertain anyone and anything.

Was alone at work and i have tonnes of things to do so i practically was working thurout ma "free" time. Fakkawi. What exactly that i had to do was rearrage the stockroom and count all the stocks. I did. It looked awesome. Time i took to clean up and rearrange and count? a total of 8++ hours. No bad~ Considering i fell sick as ma allergies of dust and yesterday E was sick and sneeze all over my salle and i caught the infectious flu virus. I tot i was about to die working in that condition and the aircon i switched on was only ONE. It's not even that cold.

I sat down sneezing and counting and controlling the nose dripping which literally dripped down on the floor again and again. My eyes itching from the dust allergy, maybe next time i have to inform E about my allergies uh. Difficult know like that to work. So after counting and keying and updating the system files and the system's stock balance, which i hate doing, finally got a rest but the time was 73opm! Time that i have to go off! Supposedly if thursdays i have silat but then i was too tired and i was sick that i just cant be bothered. I switched off evrything, locked up evrything and set off for home. In the train however i had the worst experience, people picking their noses, plucking their unwanted facial and nose hair, diggin their watevers..

I so cant freaking waet for my own vehicle!!!

Hmm the economy though is not helping as it's getting from bad to worst. Now taxi charges extra $0.30 just for diesel. Do they even use diesel? I thought they used petrol? PFFT!! Cheating on your customers huh... Hmm ok.. I just received a phone call from E. Oh yar btw, im on MC today... Even on MC, ppl distarb me see la.. She told me about the past thing that happened and said that this is a bad timing as i did cabot last week remeber? That's why thursdays i have to "repay" back the hours... Not much only 5 thursdays. Ok this time round though, I actualli went to the doctors. Got a valid MC and is resting at home but the obat uh. SO damned expensive!!! Total was $39.00 just for 4 different types of tablets. The flu medicine is the expensive ones. My mum was so damned angry she flipped upside down when she heard the amount im keying in for the MC. tomorrow however, I have to wake up early to see the doctor and tell E that wheter i got the extension of the MC or not. Dammit. I hope i get la. Although im a Centre Manager, I've been overworking! I cant tell when it happens. It happened back when i was a crew at MCD, i lost a total of 4kg in 2 weeks and fell into a deep sickness shortly after.

That taught me a lesson to never overwork and look what happened. I overworked. Ytd was suppose to be a meeting day for both me n bro but sadly i texted him he was tired and by the time i realised he had messaged me, it was too late. I think he fell asleep already.

It's ok la. I was too tired anywho. Thing is my body's biological clock has been switch differently as i start work late afternoon but although end mid-evening, bu the time i reach home it's either 11pm-12am depending on the crowd. I think im gonna be sick a lot for the next few months as i can see myself work late day in and day out. Then reach home have to do chores by the time i finish wouldnt it be 3-4am? hmm.. i hate my life at this moment as i dont have a freaking straight/express bus to go to work to, and im having family/friends conflict about my timing of work. What i notice is although at mcd im busy and always not available, I can make time for friends, family and rest. That's the only difference.

Someone once told me that i dont look like a family man. Hmm to that someone, you wont like me when im a family man, not that im not, just at the moment, a semi-family man as i have to make do with the whole attachment situation, cause if i am a family man, i wont have time for anything or anyone. seriously. try me when i was working at mcd, money easy family a lil nit-nat easy but at the end of the day, i dont have time for people. It's not as if im that close to my co-workers to go hoo hoo haha with them, no doubt they're fun people, but being once bitten twice shy, i am not gonna invest in relationships based on working life. For me work is STRICTLY work. During work, i may be your friend. After work, you call me? I hate it and i'll curse and swear at you. That's just me. For me work is work.

Hmm today i received 3 emails from Zfencing and boy, am i not happy about it. I

mean, i dont go around disturbing others during their leave n such but they had to interfere in mine. It's ok la at least i have something to do plus i am at home afterall.. so why not.

Read and saved everything that is needs saving and then i logged off..

Now, im trying to 'enjoy' my MC.

I wanna be left alone. To rest.

Till then,

Ryan Out!

Hmm. TIRING DAY!!!

Hmm.. What happened today? Busy!
130pm reported at USQ. There was a meeting.. A looooong one.. I was half dead listening to T talking on and on and on... yawnz!!

Before i elaborate more, Monday was sooooooo damned boring.. it was off day but i did practically nothing! Pfft! Ok tuesday was no better. Reported at BAL then had to kire stock. Dammit. Whole day spent counting and tallying the stock to the stock cards. I was sooo pissed off with WL suro here suro there da la botak! I slap him then his hair grow then he know.. aaahahahax..

K this was what happened after i went to PWP, set up everythin, E asked me to actualli count stock!!! Argh! muker aku nie kire stock ajer kaper.. bingit siakk... I was so busy tallying the numbers and wanting to finish it asap that i forgot today got fencing lesson.. darn it.. i quickly rushed to dinner, then rushed to USQ. By the time i reached there, i was so damned lethargic, I had to buy pocari to sustain ma energy.. 3 daes now and i havent heard from joe. Im kinda in a missing mood. Ok so i had the fencing lesson.

This time we learnt ATTACK, LUNGE, TARGET PRACTICE, KEEPING DISTANCE and we get to use the Epee. I was fun as the coach called Eyla, "LAVIDA" and Syl "SEBASTIAN".. God he has bad memories. haha.. I was laughing ma ass out and then when we were told to be in the "en guard" position, the coach was like, "navita, why are you in the silat position?" hahahhahahhaha... I cant stop laughing at that joke till now..

Was kinda pissed off that the public holiday is changed.. DAMMIT!! At ferst i was unsure then i checked the government dates and it was true.. alarrrrrrrr.... i wanted 28 oct off!!!
Hmm nevermind laa... im so lazy to work and i cant waet till the end of Zf*nc*ng uh... Im tired of working at a far place!!! then inconvinient lagi... lots to do, pay like shit!
Hm... i wanna get out of attachment!!!!!!!
Lagi best, inno called me to work with them.. fakkawi!! da lamer sangat!!!

ryan out!

OFF day yet Im still bored.

Hmm yesterday's post had to be short as i was at work and afraid someone might see what im bloggin about..

Some gr8 new my bestie hyrulnizam is to be the people's choice award for SLEAGUE. click here http://sleague.com to make a vote. Please vote for him, so that he can get the award yeah.. and, you might actualli win somthing too. Hmm dreamt of him, eyla n ryin and of course my all tyme lovable bro all the time nowadaes.. im missing them rabak kot?

Hmm ok so job is going gr8, practically ran the while salle by myself yesterday before bro pick me up from work. Then had a detour of this place where lots of people died, and it's not a good experience too coz we almost met into an accident.. i was a lil bit angry at him for that.. then we ate beef burger ramly at ma crib before heading out for work. Really appreciate his presence as i was tired. Seeing him brightened my day.

Ok i texted abg zul today and guess wad! There's silat going on today.. me, sherry n ryin prolly be heading to perguruan to go for lesson.. Hmm this week there's a slight change of schedule. Eyla is werking today whereas im off, preparing for the new elite stuff and the meeting this wednesday. So yeah she's busy while on thursday she got the day off, i'll be at PWP solo. Covering for Esther's shift. Hmm i guess she neeeded the day off la..

The whole Z Family is busy as the new system is gonna be out and the updates has to be regular.
I had to send lotsa emails to the Zfamily and eyla has her fair share of emailing as i can see. Hmm yesterday was kinda hectic, lotsa trasactions and have to count stocks as it's the end of the week so yeah ytd was TIRING!!! today i slept and woke up late.. hmm ytd had a busy busy day but then it's fun la.. today evry centre xcpet USQ is closed and evryone is relaxing...
haha..

i can waet for silat later. so yeah..
till then,
Ryan ouT!

What a day..

Saturday managed to get an off day specially for anne n zara..
hmm practically whole day was spent with zara.
we went jalan rayer and there she was having trouble locating me even in the same train.
"Ko pat first cab ke last cab? aku pat first cab ni" She says..
Ended up.. She's the one yang belo as she was in the last cabin of the train and claims she's in the first.. gendeng.. haha..

Then off to first house. Anne's. Wow.. her siblings grew up fast. Her mum at ferst had trouble recognising me.. after a full year of dissappearence..
then off to kip.. then uncle lan... shamie's bdae at the same time. the of to rumah busu.
Thruout zara was quiet.. but she had fun.. family was expecting ma bro.
then we're off to ma crib where we spent a long tyme there.. then bro came and we enjoyed more..
before he sent za off home.. then i teman him meet papa and buy 2t..
which then we went to work whilst i went home to snooze...

Surprisingly evryone werks morning the next day and we're arent enjoying it...

for now,
ryan out!

A twist in life.

Hmm. It was a twist in life.

Seriously..

Rainy day. Heavy Rain.

A special movie was out.

The Devil Wears Prada.

That was it.

It shows how this simple girl transformed to be a

beautiful model like femme that awed her boss n coworker by

fitting in instead of whining.

That's what i did.

WHINE!

Im putting a stop to it.

This isnt MCD. Culture is different.

Colleagues are different. C'mon Ryan.. Pucker up!!!

So.....

I decided to push on to continue at Z.

I figured, Hey at the end of the day I am at loss.

So ive decided.... IM COMING BACK!

----im sure bff is happy to hear this.. she was also there to help me sought this thing up---

thx eyla!

*hugs u*

It took me Mr M to scream at me, Ms C to send me an email, E to call and meet me up,
which i thought she's gonna reprimand me but alas, we were enjoying ourselves and she gave me the day off. Went to work today at 2pm and met S, who happens to be sooo understanding and very very gerek to work with altho i needed time to hype myself up.

Thing is baru dtg keje, he asked me to go makan. 1 hr break.
i didnt take up the full hour la. I took 45mins je.
then practically sat there and served the net. S didnt bother. Ajak tngok video lagi ade.
then bff called. he saed "EH! ur GF call u!"
bff n i was laughing ma ass out la.. fakkawi u S! haha..

-- halfway thru a difficult transaction Petak came to my office/salle and i took 5mins off my time to help him send his uniform..--

then we had this customer who literally flirted with me n S..
esp S coz he handling her stuff haha.. i jus prati kan oni uh. haha..
then it was off to USQ for fencing lesson #01.
S ask me to bring along the Epee and some Zfencing stuff and deliver to USQ.

Met eyla n N. Suddenly like as if ive known N my whole life, I just chatted with her and
even eyla was shocked i was that pramah. haha..
beats me!
then had our lesson with coach James.
Awesomeness! we learnt footwork and lunges.. and FYI fencers have the hottest butt
of all athletes.. check it out! there was a study conducted..
Then had a late nite dinner w bff and off to home.. Now im bushed. haix..

ryan out!
Tmr off yeah yeah!!

Hmm.. how disappointing it is..

Finally today.
Monday.

Ive sent that resignation letter to that particular company. Hmm i terribly feel that im at loss. i even fell asleep in front of the lappy trying to make the RIGHT decision.
One which took a lot a lot of thinking and a lot others helping me think along the way. it's not that i hate the place it's just it's the job. I guess im not cut out to be working there tho i enjoy the company of the coaches just that the way the management does things has gotten me all tingly inside makin me feel as if im going to do sumtin wrong or as if someone is after me or im in deep shit for god knows what.

Thing is E granted me 3 days off. Of which i have to produce a medical certificate. i dun have enuf cash for that. ttally naada!! and i dun know how im gonna explain to E or T. So i took the liberty to compose a notice for them which also involves mr M. he was blardy pissed thinking tt im one of those "miracle people" before actualli realising it was me. He was asking "which farrian?" *smacks forehead*

Thing is about his anger is that people from my class is giving him hell in terms of working at the attachment place and i happen to boil him at the wrong timing where the miracle people are at their peak to give him hell. I was shocked to hear the number of people giving him problems. Clearly i didnt expect this from my class. i tot im the only one tt wanted to get out from our current place. apparently not as the number is big. hmm.. This particular decision that im making is definitlt affecting dearest eyla and i am sincerely sorry if ive caused you to be it hot soup but it's my decision and im trying to respect myself by making this decision.. Perhaps we'll laugh about this one day.

He saed i should try ma best to get another job by myself. Of which the particular company will have to drop him an email. hmm. i got one. interview. a place where reynerd is werking at Senoir Delta School. The curriculum is very interesting only that i'll be working w ppl not of a normal stream. Just that. The kids tho is very friendly. Apparently the guy seems interested to hired me and my counterpart.

Hmm then str8 after that i went to meet another countertpart of mine and had another impromtu interview which turns out to be sucky but shockingly the guy wanted to hire me. I am still considering as the place is not tt easy to gather to. Hmm if really i have no choice, something is better than nothing... i dont freaking mind.

Right at this moment, im not the place to argue where and what i wanna do to go as and what i want. im currently jobless and it's affecting ma grades if i dun complete the 5mth cum 16credit "assignment" to finish the IA.. why 5mths? i wonder! so freaking long!!!

hmm uo till here la.. all i can do is sulk over spilled milk. It's not reversible so ya.. Im gonna stick to the status quo... this is sooo unlike me...
Whatever!

Ryan Out!

Hmm great news

Ok this just got in.. my gpa.. i maintained!! im happy!!! wee~~

Picture n some updates.

A Lil bit of rayer....

More pictures available at http://dralfariyan89.multiply.com/

Me Updates.

Two days into a hell-like stomach churn.

I think it's due to the raya food. Im having diaorrhea..

One month fast then suddenly bombared by oily, spicy and strong food and then top it off

with the famous "air oren" which is aka FnN drinks. They're colourful, mouth-watering, seducing and very tempting to try. practically after a full month of not tasting those, yeah.. fattening and, i almost lost my voice thanks to it. Now the internal organs arent handling it well.. Took MC till next tues. clear my bowel irregularity..

Currently ive uploaded this song. by ST12- PUSPA.

It's automactically my favourite song when i ferst heard it and fell in deep love with the song..

It's sweet tapi mcm bastard uh last part. Still it qualified as my favourite song. Thx bff. he's the "introducer" of the song.. haha..

Ryan out!

Selamat hari raya!

Hmm. ok ferst of all, selamat hari rayer, and happy holidaes.
Just tryin to get an off day from tt company je da susah.
ONE mistake. that's it. perli me until now. it doesnt stop there. they pass it ard until evryone thinks tt im dumb. im very sorry to my counterpart. but you're not in my shoes my dear.
im sorry but i HAVE TO leave the place not coz i feel like it but becoz i HAVE TO. the place it metaphorically killing me. no i take that back. literally killing me!

K here's the thing after i screw up about the money thing, they've been treating me as if im dumb. they had me reading and reading the company's policy, terms n cons, files, explain to them how to operate this n that, like as if ive never operated a photocopier machine. To the extent of teaching me how to type and send an email. i find that super ofensive.
do i look tt dumb? do i freaking look tt i have an IQ of a guppy???!!
Pfftt!!

Hmm. ive made the decision to leave. to resign formally BUT not till i get a place. a secured one. that i'll officially resign.
that is my decision. i hope they respect it. im sorry but it has to be this way..

Hmm for those tt wished me for raye. thank u so much i lub u soo much..
kedengaran takbir raye almost made me wept.. i remembered ma late grandmother..
saying that "tahun nie wan nyer last kasi daging korban" for hari rayer haji a feww weeks before she "left" us for god...

hmm tahun nie da tk samer seperti taun yg selepasnyer..
family da berceraiberai, banyak sudah kembali kerahmatullah dan pelbagainye..
hmm practically last day of ramadhan, me mum busu nadia n my sister went to geylang from 11pm till 8am. then went home, mandi then have to go prayer then i told ma dad i was too damned tired... naseb he agreed but ma paternal grandfather not so la..
i slept for an hour then have to bagun to go nyai hse. the paternal family.
took a cab as i was too darn sleepy to take bus.. EXPENSIVE!! darn it.

Reached there only watched Wujud 2. ok la. lepas makan we mintak maaf. i couldnt held it w ma dad. but i did control w evryone else.. hmmm for a gud 10mins i cried.. wtf!!
but i have yet to mintak maaf ma mum... next year, im doing her ferst la.. nie da masok 3 taun nie.. dammit. k then spent a few hours at grams then we took a cab to go makteh hse.. our usual site.. hmm memories la.. ok me and cousins da mintak maaf and we're taking pictures together again.. finally after years of hating each other.. hmm..
yeah the we visit tok lang, nek we, mak ngah, mak long and etc. today mak lang mak busu ajer coz there's too many family, we only going for immediates ferst la.. hmm tmr im exepting guest so im heading to bed now.. for now, ttfn..

bye!

ryan out!