Confusing la..

Hmm updates. only been a week at Z and im quite unhappy there.
i was putting up with it for too long. im afraid Z has become the other "deli" i used to werk at.
5 daes of it. that's it. i quit.
hmm.. camner? kejer boleh tk sehaluan...
hmm.. im trying something out ferst. i know if by the ferst week i cant work it out means tt i shuld leave as more problems will come to attend.
So ive decided.
Im leaving. finding other job. there's much reason to back me up but seems to some people may not be "acceptable" but it is.
that's how i feel. i cant avoid ma feelings. da takblei keje camner?
tkkan nk force kan. it's been in ma head since the 3rd day of work.. usualli by the 3rd day, im enjoying it alry... my counterpart is..
Hmm i'll be dissappointing the Zfamily but then.. sorry la.. im not meant to work there i guess..

I cant belive im doing this. i wanted it so much now it's haunting me.

Ryan out.. cold n confused!

Zfencing.

MOnday
Hmm.. well ferst day of werk. reported at USQ(united square). 130pm we were there superbly early. k we met E n J. hmm both are mgrs. Oriented to the place. then we sat in for a 4hour long speech done by E. In case readers who visit eyla's site n there's no updates, her comp is down.. stay tuned..
k after werk we met zara fiq corey eric at wellness infinity which is extremely nearby..
met za n introed ma bff to ma closest fren zara.. amazingly she lost weight. her post as wellness is manager.
Our post at Z? Centre Manager.. It's no wonder werk has been hell!
kk. went Nana Thai and ate. then went home as we were all tired and then we met Khalid pakItam. long tyme no see.. haha..

Tuesday.
Goodness us. Today is our off days. she has her own plans and i had mine.
I went to CMPB for ma medical checkup. took blood.. dammit. needles are my biggest fear in life.. after tt guy took one tube, he took another.. i was literally shaking in fear.. i was abt to piss ma pants off.. it's ibarat u give a altituphobic and put him on top of the tallest building ard.. yeah.. i was abt to cry.. but i was calm n collected. then proceed on to the other station. evrything else is ok la. hmm. 4 hrs there. my weight is 82.3kg. my real height is 173cm but tt idiot set it so low, i was bending my head down! he took my height as 171cm.. i lost 2cm! dammit. k one gud news is my weight was 85kg. dropped to 82.3kg. amazed. i lost weight. but not good enuf. i have to loose 7kg more. im in freakin PES BP by a few numerals. BMI 27++ is BP-15weeks. not the FAT-TEAM. they served 26 weeks. im losing weight n gg back to cmpb to get maself in PES B. loose 5kg and i can go back. normal PES B is 9weeks je seyy.. i cant do tyme.. im a very "tak-bleii-dok-diam" type of person. Bulan syawal=excercise.
i dun care.. plus i need to improve on ma leg n arms strength trg. Im weak. da lamer sgt tk wkout. the last tyme was in JUNE!! im hitting the track n hitting the gym!

Wednesday
im nt too sure where she went but i had pract. RC. i didnt do well as i forgot the route and the cara2 on wad to do.. wtf!
hmm was a bit dissapointed w maself but cant really blame me coz i was soaking wet due to the super heavy rain that happend while my RC! chitod btol..
i dont do well in rain la..
werk was hell.. literally tt it made me tawar hati w Z. but assurance by bff made me push maself. then Jo called me to pay top up her bbdc acct.. i top up la.. da tired.. haix.. things i do for frens. Jo is also taking bike. a fren.
waeting for berox n kip also!! im waeting......
k went home cant sleep but managed to force maself to slepp.

Thursdae.
Today. bad start. woke up 720am tot i was late for ma 5.01..
da siap cursed here n there, almost got on the bus, i realised ma pract was at 950am.i got out an hr earlier.. life's a bitch.. then went back home, slept.. i need the hours for werk later.
went for pract and instructor cum my pillion was the guy from hell tt alwaes fail me, H..... T..
In ma hart.. dammit mesti fail.. amazingly, i passed! 1st trial nie.. ahaha.. amazed..
dabes, i went str8 to werk. reached 1hr early.. wtf! went to the gents to siap la.. then my mgr came. Tuck. he was nice but...... STRICT! it wasnt until eyla text me telling me he's the superior of all superior, (general manager) that i treated him like a normal mgr.. E wasnt as efficient but i notice tuck was super efficient, very professional.. can say he's ma inspiration.
Kala ma mcd boss.. He was impressed at me, he saed im very professional. haha.. *kembang*
He wants a examplary Centre manager to run tt salle and he got one.. ME.. haha... he saed i came early and tt startled him. i did evrything according to procedure but he was angry at E for not giving me keys and POS id etcetc.. haha.. 2 of us whole day.. no interruption from any one AT ALL!! we literally toked and he taught me lotsa stuff.. he was strict but fun. he's me in a higher class of humans. His english makes mine sound third world worthy.. very very ATAS mann... imagine my eng is tt "atas" standard in my class.. wad their's??? Slums of the 3rd world??
He really amazed me.. he speak wae better than ma lecturers...
impressed! ma role model.hahaha...

ryan out..
tmr werk but w E.. darn!

OK my bad..

Today was disastrous.. Despite being my bestfren's bdae day i was in a puddle of carelessness..
Ok here's the thing. Ytd i was up till late chatting w dearest eyla, kip and khalid. Wout realising that the tyme ran all the wae till 4am and of which i just continued on chatting w them, thinking tt i can sleep till noon later or something... continued eating sahur n etc. After sahur tt is, ard 6am++ i realised that I HAVE FREAKING PRACT AT 8am!!!

Fark la i wanted to cancell then at tt hour if i try-sell, noone wil buy my slot la.. common sense, whu wakes up in the morning to book pract... OK so i dragged myself to shower, tired and lethargic tired my best not to fall asleep in bus 187 so that i wont terlanjak.. and thank god ALONG was tmaning me thruout the whole bus journey.. ok i read up the book abt pract 4.02.. i didnt have any idea what's gnna happen tauu waddafark kan.. i didnt know what's gnna come up later.. read it up and as usual when im tired, i tok gibberish.. tt was exactly wad i did to Along.. i toked gibberish literally!! She even entertained me..haha..

Ok at ma pract, i was patnered w this guy.. he smells like ahmadarab. he is number "18"... i didnt know his name but we became frens.. k here's the senario.. It was pillion riding and me being the usual anxiety-filled person was freaked out coz im afraid to "pillion" ppl.. K the instructor "CHENGG" came up to 18 and asked him to demo how a rider rides his bike wout a pillion. He told us to notice what he's doing and wad are a rider's usual habits when he's riding.
*WHILE BIKE IS ON MAIN STAND TT IS*

K he did i noticed. Curious me came upfront and was chosen as a demo pillion. Average pillion wout telling a pillion wad to do.. I DID exactly wad "NOT TO DO" as a pilion hahahah.. the insturctor saed it's a natural human mistake uh but can be corrected ok. I noticed 18 was blur2 when he brought down the bike on the right side of the bike...
*right side makes u kekok, left side balances the weight evenly point number #1. exhaust pipe is there deyy point number #2! safety hazard sia..*
I kept quite as he pushed the bike w difficulties.. ok i tot, dier nyer psl la..
then instructor came and corrected him and that's where we did an ice breaker.. he told me da sebulan dier tak naek motor.. i was like "NO WONDER!!!!"...
hahaha..

So the ferst ride, i was the rider. he became the pillion. 4 times his helmet hit mine while he tried to get on the bike but thruout he's v supportive. and v v alert and observant to the traffic.. at ferst me kekok.... coz weight of bike w pillion is v v heavy...uses a lot of power from the bike... so far i did well... his turn pulakk, gud.. skali naek slope, the engine died and he panicked wout pulling the froint brake. almost fell sia!!!! wad e.. but instructor tk nampk.. i quickly grabbed the front brake, from the back and it was enuf time for him to react to get the brakes.. hha..

kk fun part of the whole pract.. RIDING STIMULATOR...
fake bike: super 4
now i know how it feels to take a super 4 haha..
kk here's my challenge, we each got different scenario and hazards and objectives.
mine was reaction time. average human time is 0.5-1.5secs
mine? 0.41secs.
the instructor was damned impressed la. he asked me wheter i was in NS. i saed NO.
then he saed u have a gud reaction timing.. travelling at 80kmph is gud!
he saed i can becum a commander.. wahhhHhh!!! JUBO kembang siakkkk!!! hahaha.. ckap depan org pulak tuu.. hahaha.. maner takk..

but then when he added hazard, a fast moving lorry, i langgar cause i cant see farr haha.. *deng me* i reacted 0.66secs and hit the freaking truck.. hahaha..
next was following a truck by the 1sec rule.. langgar rabak sia.. i tergolek.. *in the stimulator*..
2nd time, 2 sec rule.. PERFECTO SCORE!!! haha.. i was told to rev the bike like mat rempit.. i did.. it was FUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

ferst time i passed a pract 1st tyme round!! happy sia.. i was in a euphoric state la....hahaha.... we passed!! oh ya, nvr saw 18 again.. hahah.. what a waste, we culd have been frens.. whu knows in future... haha.. insyallah..

kk went home, slept all the way till 330pm.. then went to geylang.. w mummy n sisters..
yawnn la but managed to buy lotsa thingy... met kecique then met ma ex-crush yani!! OMG i miss her... kk then went home.. im too tired to tok abt the trip.. jalan maha jalan.. im tired now maybe tmr i elaborate...

PS;
after i texted bestie wished him bdae.. he replied the sweetest message a bff culd ever text me:

-Quote-
"Time kaseh sahabat ku yang terindah.
U know, u r the best bestie in the world.
Thank you 4 being with me.
Life never been this wonderful n meaningful when u are ard.
hee"
-Unquote-

I was almost in tears. i felt so touch.. seriously!!
it made ma day today..
hmm evryday i thank god for granting me with such a bestie..
i truly appreciate it..
i love u bestie!!!!

psst.. anyone gt any idea hw to fix a comp? wout rebooting n losing info?
bff eyla needs help!!

RYAN OUT!

Happy 21st to my bestfriend!!!

Well well well... Finally someone turned 21!!!

Happy birthday bestfren!!

I hope insyallah Tuhan akan panjangkan umurmu..

I hope your birthday is filled with happiness and joy..

Hmm.. cant really celebrate his bdae yet la coz he's in camp

so.. yeah..

i jus doakan him for the best..

Amin!

Ryan OUT!

Hmm.. I'm in the festive mood..

Kedengaran takbir dari mawi really got me thinking.

Air mata syawal, restu ayahbonda.. hmm..

sad.. :'(

I really miss someone. Hmm really got me thinking.

It was ma late grandmum.

It's since last Dec that she pass and since April that i got cured from depression

the feelings came back with full gush.. Pain, sadness and guilt.

Guilt that i didnt get a chance to say im sorry this year.

May she rest in peace.

I got to msn with ahlau.

hmm we were talking about us going out menziarah at each other's homes

but this year ader sikit sekat because everyone is alry working at their respective

working place. So chances are that either we sync our off daes or

NO OUTING!

hmm by the end of this course i wanna get evryone's addy and tel num, emails n etc

wanna keep so that in future can keep in touch..

**eyla help me in this**

Ok here's the thing.

Today i have nutting on so pratically spent the whole day snoozing off

as ytd i slept at 6am.

Couldnt sleep the whole night. But sahur time i was accompanied by

the tyra banks show, racheal ray and oprah.

What can i say i love talk shows.

haha..

They talk about sperm donors and donor children finding their parents and donor siblings..

so sweet!!

Woke up, ibu cooked us the sambal udang and sayur kunyit.. Yummy!!

i spent the whole morning gorging it down and i even forgot it was

imsak already.. Da gitu takpe. While enjoying my

Dilmah Green Tea, kedengaran azan, sayu bergema...

ADUII!!

In my mouth, i still have some tea inside..

*GULP!*

aww.. that was ma last drop of green tea.. dang!

I cant waet for buke.. i wanna drink green tea!!!

Then uh im craving or Nasi Sambal Goreng and Pocari Sweat you know..

not just any NSG, but the one at BB,

Jun's Corner, the place where cavana used to be.

That one!

MAKAN MESTI MENJIWAI!!!!!!!!!

Now im freakin bored and i have nutting to do..

Malam got STAR cum Beanie gathering, mcm mlas gitu nk layan 830 at JSCC.

alarrr mlas nyer nk jumper drg...

Thing is ive not been working thre for god knows how long,

then suddenly want a gathering, Tak ke paiseh muke aku nie?

hmm thinking about it la...

Hmm got into contact back w nurul..

nice hearing from her again..

she alry invite me to come for daniq's 1st bdae party at a chalet..

haha..

she also invite whole of CGR..

22nd april tt's the date..

*psst nurul, our class is now known as CGR, CGC da basi*

Will keep maself update and im blocking out tt day for dearest DAniq.

also an ARIEN Child like me! haha..

k that's all for now..

RYAN OUT!

Yipeeeeeeee!!!

Finally after much dreadedness, i passed tt dreaded S course and manage to like complete 4.01.. wee~.. now 4.02 is pillion riding.. i know it'll be fun but... heavy... wakaka.. saper2 dapat naik ngan aku confirm menyumpah... hahahhaha...

Hmm.. i was laughin to maself in public just now.. and was in need of bff eyla's

idiocracy to make me forget the laughing "gas"

hahaha.. it worked..

Hmm ok now im trying hard to find lagu rayer.. anyone have lagu rayer???

can pass me pweesh???

i nakkkkkkkkk~~~~~...

(sounds familiar Z-gerl?)

hahahahhaha...

Ok for those of you very gendeng to know where im gonna be

attached to or what Zfencing is in the ferst place, it's linked to me.

Under "my OWN" section. k enjoy visiting...

Hmm im now waeting for buke time. i wanna finish typing this then....

"ALLAHUAKBAR2..!!!!"

Ryan Out!

It hurts to see our loved one hurt aint it?

Hmm. Dun bother about the tittle of this post. I just dont get people. How can you get a heart, filled with gold, love, diamonds and life, and smash it into tiny pieces? GOD! what i give to be in that farking smasher's place.

Here i am sulking day in and day out, trying my best to face the fact that i have a problem. Cupid has not been nice to me. Never was i in a serious relationship. Yes! Oh great me never been in love. Never been in a relationship. IM a relationship-virgin. Sad to admit it but that's the cold hard truth. The real me is hard to bear. I am choosy yes i am. I am finding the one true love you'd die for. The one that completes you. YES. That one. Not the "oh tt's just some gerl i dated tt day" or "ive tried tt gerl"..

Thinking men can be pigs? The female version of men are worst. They reap out the sadness in a guy, rip out his hart, and leave him bleeding...
Somehow these bitches will never meet these bastards.

Bitches will always get that romeo who dies for his juliet, who vowed death if he sees his loved one hurt... and Assholes will always get that Beauty which will go the distance to change and cherish him from a Beast to a mere man... Yeah. that's it. Evil thrives amongst us. Be it male or female. haix.
Hmm wad im trying to say is people, please cherish your partner. it's not easy "puzzling" yourself together and making things spark, why tarnish it?

Enuf tok about being in love. I may or may not find my true one... but see how insyallah god will grant me the gerl of my dreams to be my wife. we'll see...

Ok today, i was so tired from ytd, couldnt sleep. So afternoon got pract i was lethargic and thirsty, so i was full throttle angry with ma self, with buses n etc but thank god along like kept me cool haha.. thanks cousin.

Ok today was ma 4.01 again. 2nd trial failed coz ma S course was 11 sec dammit! 1 sec extra uh.. isk!
Tmr will be another one. im looking forward for it... but ferst, gotta catch meself a 8hour++ sleep hahahahahha...

Ryan out!

It's amazing what you see in the world..

Hmm.. the thought of it M--- being a country filled with malays and having the law reiforced against the laws of islam, but wad's the use if it's like not practiced and not reinforced. What a shame. I went out with ma fren and this chinese guy who happens to be lost with us so... make frens lorr....

hmm just as we got to S*s*k, we met a fren. Omg, he's the most offensive individual a human can meet. Yet the irony is he's very helpful n concern about a fren. he used to be a local there and wanna lead us to the proper bike shop. so we, followed him la.. at least better than looking stupid there ryte. hahaha... hmm he lead us in.. deep to his area... the feeling of "SCARY" never been worse. Ferst we're not even in our country, next, we're being led by a local there. and dont know wheter to trust them or not.

Ok then reached the bike shop alry, spent the whole day watching people fix bike, i was soooooooooooooooooooooo bored! Hp no network somemore...
We literally waet at wdlndz checkpoint for 1hr 30mins, being tanned and sunburnt there, then from 3pm all the way till 11pm at the bike shop, thank gudness there are the food area there. AMazingly although the place is village-y, i find the food there amazingly, awesome!
yummy!!!

OK then, hmm then went home and went geylang.. kewlness...
after that, was too tired to do anything...

BURDEN LIFTED

The words "relieved" and "finally" never sound better.
Today was the last paper of the COURSE!!!

That's it. No more Fitness Training for this guy. The thoery tt is.
SAd news, dear dear miss kit is leaving us for obvious reasons but we are having a
CLASS REUNIOUN cum BUKE with FT n CGR peeps this Monday, 15th Sept at Lavender. 6pm.
The last buke puase we'll have together, the last tyme we get to hoo-hoo and ha ha as a class outside school timing.. hmm kinda feeling sob-sob here..
Im invinting all the FT teachers as well as Mr azlan.

Mr D---- is not entertained la coz he doesnt even teach us. haha.. sorry mr D. haha..
Ive invited all frens from apr 08 as well as jan 07. mainly sherry n reynard la. but we'll see if the answer is positive or not.
hmm. i cant waet for it la. i going to miss them tonnes of loads of .... (dunno wad to put) haha..

after all the trials and tribulations and after evry single ups and downs will come a time for us to be apart in our separate ways to do our own profession.
hmm ryin will be posted to pasir ris pri coaching in hockey.
ahlau posted to FAS as physiotherapist.
me n eyla were lucky enuf to be together. We're both in Z fencing.
others we attached to wellness infinity, amore, respective primary schools, innotrek, my kids gym and hollandse.

Speaking of which, truth to be told, i was accepted into all four companies seyy.
Innotrek-camp instructor, Hollandse- facility manager (country club), MyKidsGym- Gym teacher and Zfencing- Fencing Coach.
im impressed wif maself. i wasnt confident as im not the sporty2 type, neither am i the macho gym freak, i am also not the fitnesss dictionary but impressed that im selected amongst my "all of the above" classmates. hmm.. nonetheless.....
of course i took fencing la. it's more fun n more interesting.

hmm.. the paper today.. omg was a killer! it's so darn difficult. But i managed to overcome it and now BURDEN is lifted. i still want that dream of being the 4 pointer, or having my name on the fitness board, kalo tk dpt pon tkper, im bersyukur kalo dapat 3.7 and above to fulfill my dreams. the achievement. hmm...

Our official last day will be on the 18th of sept 2008.
the day we'll be briefed and given the necessary documents that is to be handed in to individual supervisors.
hmm.. our last day. im gonna miss you cgc-cgr...

ryan out!

The truth about today.

Ive have yet to link up yana n mai on ma link list.

**gerls, gimme a few more days yeah.. trying to fix up ma hectic schedule**

just cant get the time la. This blogger giving me hell. hmm ok. here's the catch. today was ma nutrition exams.

It's difficult after the first look. But after few glances, i could break-out what is happening.

Managed to get some answers correct and im confident of it but ya'll know,

a little bit of this a little bit of that. hmm. i think i got some of the questions wrong.

Hmm i had a great time today. Broke fast with family. Had mcdonalds' plus bbq chicken plus mcwings plus mcchicken plus maggee mee and lastly, to top of the chix fiesta, CHICKEN RICE!

Hmm. im kinda excited that i got into ZFencing, that means,

byebye mcd.

byebye free time.

byebye tv.

byebye silat.

byebye spending time with frens n cousins.

byebye, hmm i dunknow, a lot of things.

Main focus is ZFencing, car pract, motor pract, hp ppd, paying bills,

sleep and more sleep.

but the working hours of ZFencing is not that bad la. In fact it's quite

adjustable to my current life. Hmm 6 months of this. darnnit.

ok i have yet to start studying for FDP for tmr exams which commence at 8am.

hmm looks like after sahur = NO SLEEP.

no sleep also = STUDY!

Hopefully the questions is nice to me and is answerable. Insyallah.

for now, im going to sleep.

nytey nyte.

Ryan OUT!

After ma long absense...

Hey peepoz... soorry my lappy was infeced with virus and now it's ok.
hmm, wad's up huh..
hmm my pract now at 4.01.
hmm started ma car pract alrey.. my TP is 29 jan.
Puase full so far..
i think im getting fatter.. am i?
i think that's about it la. oh yar. me n eyla is hired under this fencing company called Z FENCING.
i start work this upcoming monday 22nd of Sept. 1.30pm at UNited Square. kewll pe..
hmm ma NS medical checkup is 23rd Sept.

so far no more updates cause this week is exam week.
SLT was ok-ok but kinda difficult.
hmm i lost interest in studies la. hopefully i answered the questions properly and correctly to the best of ma knowledge.

hmm for now ryan out!

PS: yana, i need ur new url. u never leave me any url.